I am Simon Cowell's secret accuser

The Colonel would like to announce today that it is I that accused Simon Cowell of fixing his pig dog 'Britain's Got No Talent' program. I did it to expose his program as being a farce - Cowell had the audacity to refuse the Colonel's performing camels act into the contest, despite promises of smuggled explosives and as many barrels of oil he could store in his garage.

The Colonel will continue to expose corruption from the crusader pig dogs until it stops or I am silenced - which isn't going to happen!